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Accepting Ourselves, Accepting What Is: How EFT Tapping Can Open the Door to Healing

Accepting Ourselves, Accepting What Is-v2Do you deeply and completely love and accept yourself?

In my work with clients over the years, I have seen many people who found it difficult to say yes to this question. They can accept parts of themselves, but other parts they just don’t like or they are ashamed of or they outright reject.

Pause for a moment here and say this out loud: “I completely love and accept myself.” How true does it feel to you?

Why should we care whether we love and accept ourselves or not? What difference does it make? I believe it makes ALL the difference between our ability to heal versus staying stuck in dis-ease and pain.

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl Rogers

Self-acceptance is an important, if not essential, factor in releasing negative emotions and physical discomforts through Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). EFT is an evidence-based* technique that is simple and easy to learn and apply, and it is often effective on difficult issues such as phobias, PTSD, anxiety and pain. It involves tapping on specific acupuncture points while focusing on the target problem with verbal statements and affirmations.

The initial statement used in EFT is, “Even though [fill in the blank with the problem], I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” Before anything else, we use this setup phrase to clear resistance and set the stage for processing the issue at hand.

Let me use a simple example to show you how the tapping process works. A client came in to my office one day complaining that she was feeling angry toward a friend after a conversation that morning and couldn’t seem to let it go.

We started by tapping on the side of the hand (Karate Chop point) and I had her repeat after me, “Even though I’m so angry and frustrated with [my friend], I love and accept myself anyway.” We repeated that phrase three times while continuing to tap the Karate Chop point. (See the figures for the locations of the tapping points.)

Acupoints-hand

Then, we tapped through the other eight EFT points while repeating a short reminder phrase at each point, “This anger, this frustration.” The tapping round was completed by taking a deep, cleansing breath. We checked in with how she was feeling toward her friend to assess if there had been any change. After just a couple rounds, she reported feeling a release and no longer felt attached to her anger. Just a few minutes of tapping diffused an event that had been stuck for most of the day in her mind.

Acupoints-body Acupoints-face

I have seen an issue that had been stuck for over fifty years resolve just as quickly. A veteran who had lived with PTSD since a traumatic explosion in Vietnam experienced dramatic relief from just one session of EFT. He had judged his experience to be less traumatic than so many of his fellow soldiers and felt he had no excuse for having problems because of it. In other words, he could not accept how his body and mind were reacting to that event. As we tapped, he began to accept that he had good reason to have a strong response to the explosion. Accepting himself and accepting what happened opened the door for him to release the entire event. Later, he reported, “The result is a calmer [his name], in and out. I really hadn’t thought that it was So Big Deal in what happened that night. Obviously it WAS.”

Years ago, I had an experience using EFT with a friend that illustrated clearly to me the power of self-acceptance and the direct connection it has to our physical experience.

On a crisp winter day with a fresh layer of snow, my kids and I met my friend, Karla, and her kids at our favorite sledding hill. The kids had a new snowboard that Karla wanted to try. She always was a bit of a daredevil! She started out great, but about halfway down the hill she went down hard and injured her shoulder and thumb.

She was upset and frustrated because she had plans to go skiing the next day and didn’t want to miss it. I offered to do some energy work on her when we got home to see if it might help. As we headed into my home office, I noticed that she was expressing a lot of frustration with herself, so I decided to focus on those feelings first.

We did a few rounds of EFT focused only on her feelings of “doing something dumb” and “shouldn’t have done that.” We were both surprised when she checked her thumb and shoulder and found that they were feeling significantly better; in fact, her thumb didn’t hurt at all now. I still remember the look of shock on her face as she wiggled her thumb and couldn’t find any pain. We had focused only on her feelings around judging herself for getting hurt, not on the actual injuries.

In other words, healing had begun (or at least her experience of pain had decreased) merely by clearing her self-judgments and negative feelings about the accident.

Our thoughts and feelings about ourselves are powerful. Negative thoughts and judgments can stall the healing process. Acknowledging our faults, our mistakes, and our pain and loving ourselves anyway opens the door to releasing the feelings that keep us stuck.

“The moment that judgment stops, through acceptance of what is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace.” Eckhart Tolle

“The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That’s all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it’s something you allow.” ~ Will Garcia 

EFT is a great process to use for releasing self-judgments that block us from healing. It creates awareness and acceptance of what is, and then allows us to process our feelings and thoughts in a healthy way.

If you would like to learn more about EFT, you can go to the EFT page on my website: http://www.healingtreewellness.com/home/information/about-eft/. I also offer introductory classes in EFT Tapping here in the Northern Colorado area. Contact me if you’re interested!

If you are serious about learning to use EFT professionally, I recommend that you go to the source: Gary Craig (emofree.com). I am forever grateful to Gary Craig for his vision to share this work with the world for free.

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* Based on a comprehensive review by Dr. David Feinstein published in the journal Review of General Psychology, the results of 18 randomized controlled trials using meridian-tapping therapies lead to the conclusion that “they consistently demonstrated strong effect sizes and other positive statistical results that far exceed chance after relatively few treatment sessions.”

Going On a Bear Hunt: Moving Through Emotions

Remember the camp song “Going on a Bear Hunt” and how you keep coming up against blocks in the trail?

“Oh, no! There’s a swamp!
Can’t go under it,
Can’t go around it,
Can’t go over it,
Have to go through it!”

It reminds me of the emotional blocks that we all carry around and face repeatedly. Except that the last thing we usually want to do is go through it.

Emotions can be uncomfortable. Many of us learned early in life that expressing our feelings was not safe or acceptable.  So when an uncomfortable emotion comes up, we’ve learned various ways to avoid it: go under it, go around it, go over it, stuff it, ignore it…

We know (I hope!) that it is very unhealthy to stuff or avoid our emotions. How can we allow ourselves to feel and process our emotions in a healthy way?

The first step always is to create awareness. Not as a judgmental watchman but as a neutral observer. Pay attention to yourself and your reactions. As soon as you notice that you are feeling something, just pay attention. Being aware of and owning your feelings is so important!

Once you are aware that something is coming up, you have the power to choose to manage it in a healthy way.

Ideally, you will release any judgment around that feeling and allow yourself to feel it fully. Just drop right into it.

Is that a scary thought? Many of us are afraid that if we allow ourselves to “go there” we’ll explode or get out of control! That is often a sign that we have been doing a lot of emotional stuffing.

Just to be clear: allowing yourself to feel the emotion does not mean acting out. I am not advocating acting on your anger, for example, just allowing the feeling of anger to be there.

Did you know that the physiological response to an emotion can be complete in about 90 seconds? In other words, the chemical reactions caused by an emotion in the body (adrenaline rush, stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system, etc.) can clear the body very quickly IF, and this is a big IF, we do not in some way block that emotion.

Here’s a simple tool to keep your emotional gates open. As soon as you notice an uncomfortable feeling coming up, allow yourself to drop into it and begin tapping your wrists together gently. Think of it as clapping with the insides of your wrists instead of with your hands. The energy of emotions flows through your body like water. Tapping your wrists together stimulates several energy meridians and keeps the flow going.

You will be surprised at how quickly the feeling dissipates! You may still need to act on that feeling, but you are now in a much better place to do so without those emotions clouding your good judgment.

What about situations where it is not appropriate to go into that feeling? For example, you’re in a meeting with your boss or you’re driving on the freeway or you’re in an emergency situation and have to deal with the circumstances at hand. Then you will need to set aside your emotions (not stuff or ignore them) with the promise to yourself that you will allow yourself to process them later when you can safely do so. And keep that promise!

As with all things, processing your emotions gets easier with practice.

So, as you continue on your “bear hunt,” remember that you have the tools to move right on through those blocks.

Emotional Baggage: Lighten Your Load with the Emotion Code

Can you relate to the term “emotional baggage”? Everyone seems to have some and we all recognize that it is not a good thing, but what is it? And how do we get rid of it?

The Emotion Code, created by Dr. Bradley Nelson, calls this emotional baggage “trapped emotions.” According to Dr. Nelson, emotional energy can become trapped in the body when we are overwhelmed or traumatized, when our defenses are down, or when we are unable to fully process emotions. In addition, blocking or “stuffing” an emotion can cause it to become trapped.

What’s Wrong with Emotional Baggage?

These trapped emotions, until they are brought to conscious awareness and released, interfere with the healthy flow of life force energy in the body. This can affect our physical, emotional and mental wellbeing, our relationships, and our ability to fully express our creativity and gifts with the world. Trapped emotions take a toll on our energy levels as energy is diverted to maintain all this baggage.

It is estimated that the average person has collected 300-400 trapped emotions. That’s a lot of emotional baggage! Wouldn’t it be great if we could unload some of this? Thanks to Dr. Nelson, we now have one more way to do this. The Emotion Code allows us to quickly and easily identify and release trapped emotions. In fact, you can learn to do this for yourself.

How Does It Work?

The process is simple: muscle testing is used to identify a single trapped emotion that the body is ready to release. Once enough information has been obtained about this emotion, such as the age when it became trapped and where it is held in the body, it is released by running a magnet several times along the Governing meridian (usually down the back).

It looks very simple but the effects can be very profound. Some people feel better almost instantly, for some the changes are very subtle and seem to come over time. Many people report feeling “lighter” after an Emotion Code session, as if a weight has been lifted from them.

Emotion Code can be effective in releasing chronic pain, relationship blocks, and anxiety, among many other things. While it would be unwise to claim that trapped emotions cause disease, Dr. Nelson says that he has never treated someone with a disease or condition that did not have any trapped emotions that were contributing to the problem.

But I Don’t Remember Where All My Emotional Baggage Came From!

One of the best features of this technique is that it allows us to bring to conscious awareness many issues from the past about which you have no conscious memory. We access the wisdom of the subconscious mind through a form of muscle testing to get the information we need to release trapped emotions.

Some of our trapped emotions were actually handed down to us at conception from our parents. Most of us carry some ancestral emotional baggage. These inherited emotions can also be released with Emotion Code. Not only does it release from us but it also releases from all the previous generations who passed this on to us. This can bring profound healing within families.

Emotion Code works well for all ages, especially children. You are probably aware that many of your issues are based on experiences from childhood. What a great gift to help children let go of the emotional baggage they’ve already picked up and freeing them from a lifetime of dealing with it!

If you’d like to learn more about Emotion Code, Dr. Nelson’s book, The Emotion Code: How to release your trapped emotions for abundant health, love and happiness, is a great place to start. He does an excellent job of explaining difficult energetic concepts in simple, clear terms. The book also provides everything you need to know to get started using the Emotion Code.

Meditation: Something for Everyone

When you think of meditation, what images come to mind? Sitting cross-legged on the floor for hours? Emptying your mind and holding perfectly still?

This is what many people picture when they think of meditation—not very appealing. And if the benefits of meditation aren’t obvious, it’s not surprising that few put in the effort to practice it.

Meditation comes in many forms. You may be surprised to find that you already participate in some form or another.

So, what exactly is meditation?

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The Value of Opposition in Reaching Balance

In our search for optimal health and wellbeing, balance is frequently considered a key component. Which lifestyle do you think is more balanced?

– Eating well most of the time, exercising moderately, meditating occasionally, and getting a massage once a month,

OR

– Exercising every day of the week for at least one hour, using willpower to completely avoid all foods that don’t fit into the category of “good for you”, spending 4 hours a day in meditation, and constantly seeking out the latest alternative therapy.

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Forgiving Ourselves

Most of us believe that to forgive our fellow man is admirable and desirable. But forgiving ourselves may be a different matter. Some of us feel incapable of loving and forgiving ourselves because we are all too aware of our own mistakes and weaknesses. Sound familiar?

If you are familiar with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), you will remember that an essential part of the process of clearing negative emotions or physical dis-ease is making the statement, “Even though I have [this problem], I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” Many people find it difficult to say these words; some simply cannot bring themselves to say it at all. And yet, some degree of self-acceptance is critical to success in EFT work. I find it to be the most powerful aspect of EFT.

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Emotional Education: Three Critical Things You Should Know About Your Emotions

What have you been taught about emotions?

Think back to your childhood. How were emotions dealt with in your family? Realize that this was your emotional education—this is how you were taught (intentionally or not) about emotions.

Were you allowed to express your feelings? Or was it “not safe” or “bad” to express yourself? Did you ever hear “boys don’t cry” or “cry baby” or even “you shouldn’t be so happy”?

Have you ever heard a dialog similar to this?
Child says: “I hate my sister!”
Parent says: “No, you don’t!”
Child thinks: “I don’t?? Then what am I feeling?”

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Dis-ease and Healing: Where’s My Magic Bullet?

Recently, I listened with interest as my friend described to a small group how she had experienced serious back problems for 35 years. She shared with gratitude that she was now free from these back problems after one year of treatment with an alternative care provider. I was surprised when one of the women in the group expressed dismay that it had taken a whole year to heal.

In our quick-fix culture we are constantly being told that instant healing is a pill or a surgery away—or even a diet or an alternative treatment away. But how many times have you (or someone you know) actually experienced an instant, permanent cure?

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Physical Pain: 3 Things to Ask Yourself When You Are Hurting

When pain shows up, it’s there for a reason. This is pretty obvious most of the time. When you touch a hot stove the nerves in your finger send a message to your brain that it’s hot. This pain is a signal that protects your finger from getting burned (if you’re quick enough!).

Pain has a purpose—it’s there to get your attention. But it’s not always obvious why. Like when lower back pain shows up with no known injury or when someone is experiencing the symptoms of fibromyalgia.

Here are three things to ask yourself when pain shows up:

“What have I been doing?”

“What have I been thinking or saying?”

“What have I been feeling?”

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Nature and Your Health: Feed Your Chakras

Have you noticed that a warm, sunny day in early Spring can bring out droves of people? After a long winter there is a strong urge to get outside. We’ve been cooped up in our homes and offices for months, away from the sun and the outdoors.

This craving for the outdoors and nature is referred to as biophilia (love of living things). Scientists have theorized that humans have a biological need to bond with and be close to other living systems, including: animals, plants, habitats, objects in nature and even the weather.

The term Nature Deficit Disorder (NDD) was first coined by author Richard Louv in his book, Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder. He refers to the biophilia theory and suggests that many of our children are suffering as a result of the disconnect from nature created by our modern lifestyles.

However, it’s not just children who need nature! We all need this connection to nature to some degree.

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