Emotional Education: Three Critical Things You Should Know About Your Emotions
- At July 17, 2010
- By Bonnie
- In Articles
- 2
What have you been taught about emotions?
Think back to your childhood. How were emotions dealt with in your family? Realize that this was your emotional education—this is how you were taught (intentionally or not) about emotions.
Were you allowed to express your feelings? Or was it “not safe” or “bad” to express yourself? Did you ever hear “boys don’t cry” or “cry baby” or even “you shouldn’t be so happy”?
Have you ever heard a dialog similar to this?
Child says: “I hate my sister!”
Parent says: “No, you don’t!”
Child thinks: “I don’t?? Then what am I feeling?”
Denial of feelings creates confusion and blocks the ability to process and release emotional baggage. Eventually, we may get numb or find ourselves overreacting to emotional triggers. We find ourselves unable to deal well with the emotions that inevitably show up in our day-to-day living.
We could all use a little emotional education. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
1 – Emotions are just emotions.
Emotions create a physiological response in the body. When you get angry, blood pressure rises, blood vessels constrict, muscles tighten, etc. These body responses are important for dealing with the perceived cause of these emotions. For example, if someone is threatening you, these body responses prepare you to act quickly to protect yourself.
We tend to judge emotions as good or bad—joy is “good,” anger is “bad.” But emotions in and of themselves are neither good nor bad. It is what you do with them that can cause problems.
2 – Emotions can get stuck in our body.
Typically, when we experience an emotion, the chemical response in the body dissipates within ninety seconds. In other words, when you get angry, if you just allow yourself to feel it and let it go, your anger can be gone in just seconds.
However, sometimes anger or other emotions seem to get stuck and you cannot let go of them. Or at times some emotions are overwhelming and you are unable to fully process them.
The surest way to get stuck in an emotion is to have a judgment about it: “I shouldn’t feel this way” “I don’t like feeling this way” or “I’m a bad person because I feel this way”. These “unallowed” emotions become lodged in your body and can disrupt the healthy flow of life force energy.
3 – Emotions can create dis-ease.
One of the posters at the Body Worlds exhibit I attended recently caught my attention. It stated that the most significant factor in avoiding heart disease in not exercise, diet, or good genes. It is a positive attitude. Everyone carries emotional baggage from the past and it will continue to affect your health and wellbeing until it has been processed and released.
According to Dr. Bradley Nelson, creator of the Emotion Code, emotions trapped in the body tend to attract more of the same. Eventually these trapped emotions can create physical symptoms in that area of the body.
The good news is that there are ways to release these trapped emotions and this often leads to a decrease in symptoms. Energy therapies such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and The Emotion Code can be very helpful.
Do you see areas in your emotional life that could be healthier? A good first step to gaining control of your emotional health (as opposed to feeling controlled by your emotions) is to create greater awareness. What I mean by this is to just pay attention to what triggers your emotional responses and to what kind of thoughts you have about these emotions. Once you start to see the patterns involved, you will be in a better position to make changes.
Here are a few recommended resources that may be helpful:
The Emotion Code by Bradley Nelson
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Emotions are a part of life. What we are trying to avoid is getting stuck in our emotions, not the emotions themselves.
Beckey Guzman
Thank you Bonnie! this article helped me realize a few things about my past… I understand now why I have writer’s block….This was a big one for me! You’re always willing to help others release the demons within… or at least how I viewed them…. another biggie 🙂
namaste my sister…..
Beckey
Bonnie
Thanks Beckey! I’m so glad this was helpful to you. I am patiently waiting to see your book–keep moving forward!
Blessings,
Bonnie